Tag Archive for: Travel to Iran

“I had long ago learned that when you are the giant, alien visitor to a remote and foreign culture it is sort of your job to become an object of ridicule. It’s the least you can do, really, as a polite guest.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Politeness is universal. All around the world people value and appreciate it. All around the world people have developed different ways of expressing it, different etiquettes. But has it ever happened to you to think that in some cultures they take it a little too far? Or that you’re not made to fit in that sort of behavior? It is what I thought when I came to Iran.

In Iran, people offer you their food when they are hungry; shopkeepers tell you, you don’t have to pay for what you’re buying; hosts invite you to extend your stay indefinitely; friends fight you to get the bill in a restaurant; queues of colleagues build up in front of a door as one of them decisively insists that you should be the first to cross into the next room; the boss eagerly asks if you’d like him to make you some tea; an old man fills his glass with water and then offers it around before drinking, and a stranger says you now own the lighter you just borrowed. In short, you’re just overwhelmed by an endless sea of generosity.

Iranians are among the friendliest people in the world.

This is taarof.
It is inescapable. It underlies any form of communication in Iranian social life. You use it with strangers, friends, and family. It has many fascinating manifestations, as well as subtle catches. It is courteous, poetic, and ancient.
Taarof is, if you will, an art of communication.

And if you wanna make some Iranian friends or travel to Iran, or you’re simply interested in one of the most sophisticated etiquettes in the world, you must know about it!

Curious yet? So let me explain

Taarof is an unwritten collection of a wide range of actions and verbal formulas that build up the Iranian etiquette. It is the Persian art of politeness or of civility.

The word itself is of Arabic origin meaning “acquaintance” or “knowledge”, but the origin of the etiquette itself, it is supposed, lies in a basic tenet of Zoroastrianism, the ancient Persian religion of old. This tenet pushes people to use “kind words”. However, taarof encompasses more of the values of the refined Persian culture: good manners, respect, modesty, personal respectability, and humility in the face of others. All great values to be practiced on a daily basis, don’t you think?

It might sound like these values are the same ones that make up the base of the European etiquette, and in large part, they are. So why are the two politeness systems different? Why does the Iranian etiquette look a little bit too much?

It’s because of how language is used.

Westerners use language merely as a pragmatic instrument, whereas Iranians, true to one of the richest poetic traditions in the world, do not. Here communication is accompanied by flowery, elegant, and highly symbolic patterns of speech.
Taarof is much more strict and ritualized than the generic Western etiquette. If in Europe you extend rigid institutional respect to professors, some small token courtesies to acquaintances, and might even skip etiquette altogether in the company of friends or family, in Iran taarof is ubiquitous.
In fact, everyone in Iran will communicate with you through the lens of taarof, and if you’d rather have them stop doing it, you’ll have to tell them “taarof nemikonam”.

Politeness is universal and is practiced differently among various nations.

And you might really want them to stop. Why?

Buckle up. There is something extremely confusing for us, Westerners, about taarof.
Sometimes compliments or gifts being given are not exactly really intended but offered out of respect for you. Somebody might compliment your clothes even if they are not that great, but that’s not a reason for you not to feel great about how you look! Somebody might invite you to his home even if he doesn’t actually have the time to spend with you, but he wants you to know that, if he had the chance, he would love to!
So yes, this can be confusing! It’s not like in Europe we never say white lies or things we don’t actually mean out of politeness. It’s the fact that in Iran, all the people extend their generosity all the time in literally all sorts of contexts.

when traveling to Iran, try to spend some time with an Iranian family; you will like it!

Mind you, if you accept a gift or a proposal that has been made to you, even if it was not meant, your Iranian friend will not shy away from doing what was promised. If she said you can keep a gift, she will let you have it, even if she really wants it. If he said that he will drive you for 100 km, he will do it, even if he doesn’t have the time!
Iranians really have a knack for making you feel comfortable, and this is why, I suspect, they’re considered among the friendliest people in the world!

Still, it is hard to discern between which offer is true and which is not, and you would not want to abuse anyone’s ritual generosity, would you?

So how can you know which offers you should accept, and which are simply made out of politeness?
Luckily there are a few hints that can help us, Europeans, to navigate this intricate jungle of communication. Here is a shortlist:
Refuse two or three times. If the offer is still being made after the third time, then maybe that gift is sincere? Also, when you want to give something to your Iranian friend or host, be prepared to insist a little bit.
All vendors are actually practicing taarof. You still need to pay them, even if they refuse at first! Yet again, you might have to insist a couple of times.
If you are a guest you could have to suffer the full extent of your host’s generosity. As is the case throughout all the Middle East, the host-guest relationship is in some sense considered sacred. It would be rude to ignore this, no? Lucky you!
When receiving invitations, ask for some details. What day? What time? Where? If the answers are vague and ambiguous, don’t push, it’s taarof. But if your Iranian friend is willing to discuss a concrete plan with you, then the invitation might be real.
It is always nice to offer to pay for a bill. Sometimes, though, weirdly, that’s where you have to stop. In some situations, to actually pay, can be considered rude. For example, you shouldn’t pay for people that are clearly older than you.
Fight fire with fire, taarof with taarof. If you feel that you’re very well taken care of, and want to return the favor, you’ll have to do it through taarof. Unexpected, no?

And finally, learn to take small hints! It is difficult. But don’t panic yet! When you come to Iran, you’ll understand that Iranians are conscious and forgiving of our own barbaric ways. They’ll even try to adapt to you, to make you comfortable. And besides everything, if you are a foreigner in Iran you can be sure that people will be happy to see you here, will be curious about you, and virtually all their gifts and invitations will be genuine!

Iranians are famous for their hospitality and you really feel comfortable in their homes.

It took me a while to understand this. Because of this I initially disliked taarof. I thought that it is an unwieldy form of communication. I felt clumsy around it. Socially threatened by it.
But now it is starting to dawn on me that not only can it be delightfully pleasant, taarof is also an excellent school of non-verbal communication. I’m starting to love it! I soon learned to pick up nuances in somebody’s voice, eye movements, and muscle twitches. I can participate in the theatrical dance of communication. I can better read people’s emotions. I’ve even learned to haggle!

It is incredible what a few weeks in Iran can do to you!

Are you planning to travel to Iran? Check out our Iran tours.

Out of the vast internet sea, you will find a lot of information about Iran. Some of that information is false or fallacious in its generalizations (Iranians don’t use furniture in their homes), some are trivial (Iranians have garlic shampoo) and some… is over repeated (alcohol is banned in Iran, oh, so, so sad). I myself wrote about how and why Iran is safe, why you should visit Iran, how generous the Iranians are and what I felt, as a European, in interacting with taarof, why hijab is nothing to be worried about and other topics. Many of these mysteries had already been unravelled in other articles.

This article is going to be different. I’m going to assume that you can point Iran on a map, and know all the basics about this country. Maybe you have gathered info while planning for a trip here? Or maybe you don’t have the chance to do it right now, but if fascinates you, as it did fascinate me, and you’d like to know more about it. In any case, in this article, I will tell you some things that you are unlikely to find around the world wide web, so there’s a chance you never heard of these. This is meant to give a better feeling of what Iran is like to people that know much about the country but have not yet walked on its earth.

Iranian artistic identity is quite alive

I’ll start with what is important for me: art! Everywhere I travel I do my best to keep an eye on local art. The form of art, as well as the visible degree of artistic freedom present in a country, are the telltale of what a whole nation holds to be important. Public art can either be an expression of the will of the citizens or the state, and it can promote a direction of thought through the materialization of a conceptualized ideal.
I grew up in post-Soviet Moldova. I know all too well that the Soviet promotion of art was only performed in the boundaries in which it sponsored state ideals and communist thought. Before coming to Iran, I had heard many people, even in neighbouring countries, say that Iranians aren’t at all free to express themselves. I thus imagined to see the same trend I had witnessed as a kid: state-sponsored art ever featuring Islamic values.
I was wrong! Yes, there are quite a few mural paintings depicting Iraq-Iran war veterans, occasionally religious figures and episodes and, rarely, the two Political Leaders of Iran (though they are always present on institutional buildings). But the state-sponsored share of art on the streets is smaller than what independent artists produce. Also, not all public-sponsored art has anything to do with the state and country.
In fact, anyone paying attention will be amazed by the artistic subjects and styles present here. Parks are dotted with impressive statues that seem to come from a mix of all artistic currents I had learned of when I was in Europe. Modern art, in the form of graffiti, murals, street rap, statues, and many more, is a testament to the fact that Iranians do not stoop so low as to venerate the ashes of their rich artistic history, but actively engage in a continuous creative process. This independent artistic expression can touch anyone, no matter how sensitive to the realm of aesthetics and irrespective of belonging to certain cultural, political or religious groups. Iranian art often also has undertones of social activism.

Contemporary Iranian art

How Iranians spend their leisure time

Another interesting thing about Iranians is how they spend their leisure time. Iranians do not have access to the pastimes we commonly enjoy in the West. But they certainly have developed and refined a way to get some well-deserved relaxation, of course!
In Europe, enclosed parks are usually sealed from evening until morning. While this is true of some historical parks in Iran, most of them are open. That’s because, especially during the weekend (which in Iran is on Thursday and Friday), Iranian families and groups of friends have a very important activity to partake in: picnics. Picnics are, apparently, Iranians’ most common way of spending their free time. Is it a lazy day and you have nothing to do? In Europe you’ll probably meet your buddies at a bar, in Iran you get your people or friends out for a picnic with some food, tea, and probably a hookah (hubble-bubble). It is not only a good occasion to relax, but also to socialize.
Another thing Iranians do is going shopping. Sometimes without buying anything!
Sometimes they just go visiting members of their wider family just to keep up with the news and gossip, let the kids play, and have a good meal! New generations can meet to watch series or movies together, and discuss various interpretations, and this is in fact a quite popular activity. The time and occasion for meetings can also be determined by regional traditions. For example, in the southern region of Khuzestan, families congregate after dinner for some hookah.
Another way to spend, or waste, as you see it, leisure time for Iranians is social media. There is, in fact, especially with regards to Instagram, a significant social media addiction. People can spend several hours a day on social media. It is, in fact, a significant social problem.
Far more healthy of a pastime is travelling. As you do, many Iranians used to travel to other countries before the sanctions. Neighbouring countries were the most common destinations, as well as, for the wealthier of them, Europe, South-East Asia, or the Americas. Now travelling for Iranians is a much costlier endeavour, because of how cheap their currency is compared to the foreign currencies.

As you can understand, Iranians spend their free time in all the ways you wouldn’t think. If you will be so lucky as to come here you will most certainly be invited by some locals to spend some time together. You should experience this, and feel the vibes of how different Iranians spend their free time. 110% fun! Guaranteed!

Luxury houses in the Caspian sea region is a popular place among Iranians to spend leisure time.

Iran is a modern country

If you read something about Iran before, you must surely know that the country permits no access to funds held in otherwise international banking circuits. Simply put, most articles giving tips about Iran will mention that you need to bring in cash, and this is true. But how many of these articles mention that you can have prepaid cards and that you can pay for almost everything with them? Similarly, how many articles mention that Iran has some of the best apps around to offer you a myriad of services online, some of which outright eliminate the possibility of being scammed? Or that walking in a restaurant or café feels in no way different to entering a European one (except for the absence of alcohol). You can have a chat there or an open mic for practising some poetry, and how about a café with ice walls!? Or that there are countless companies, among which the one I’m working in, that have company cultures in no way different to the best companies in Europe (cooperation between workers, supportive leaders, result-driven assessments, leisure space if you want to look for inspiration or a break, group bonding initiatives, etc.)
Unbeknownst to even the most well-informed Westerners, Iranian businesses offer many services, and there is little that the law doesn’t forbid that you can’t find!
You can of course well deduce that the US sanctions are taking their toll on the Iranian economy, and that on average people’s wages are significantly lower compared to European standards. Nevertheless, Iran has access to many natural resources, which still allows for development projects. Moreover, there is a large share of the Iranian population, the middle and upper classes, who have access to the aforementioned services, and some business industries are growing despite the economic pressure.
Iran is, therefore, a modern country, and you should dispense with the idea that it is backwards in, for example, infrastructure, or that internet or banking services are non-existent when, in fact, they are thriving domestically.

The consequences of the sanctions can be felt in the transportation industry, however. The result? Really bad planes. And really lovely buses. You should know, if you or some friend go to Iran, that planes here are kind of… unreliable. The lack of spare parts make maintenance very costly and very inefficient, so domestic flights are not that cheap, and there have been quite a few accidents in the past couple of decades. On the other hand, Iranian buses are somehow beyond what I have experienced in Europe. They feel luxurious, and quality and price competition make for really good rides at really cheap prices. And the Iranian landscapes are impressive!
If you come here I really do suggest you get a bus ride between cities.

Tabi’at Bridge-an example of modern architecture in Iran.

Everything about Iranian women

Another thing is hijab. Hijab has brought an interesting social developments. Now it’s more like fancy jab, you know? In Iran, a large majority of women do not come from religiously conservative families. Perfect hijab is thus rarely observed in Iran, i.e. women almost never fully cover their hair, and many sport dyed hair in all possible colours.
So, while of course still respecting the law, they manage to transform hijab into a fashion statement. They match colours, choose the fabric, combine it for the makeup and hair colour, nails and manteau etc.
Speaking of makeup, the country is a really large consumer of makeup products, in part because of hijab. While this may be mentioned in some articles, the use of makeup is usually pinpointed as simply a symbol of rebellion. This may certainly happen, but it is one of those fallacious generalizations I had mentioned at the beginning of the article.
The use of makeup in Iran is as ancient as Persia itself. We know that Iranian women used make-up since ancient time, and that this usage has persisted through the ages enough that it has become part of the culture. With modern technology more ways to beautify oneself appeared. That explains why the time I went at a marriage it looked like half of the women were blue-eyed. Another step has been taken in this direction is plastic surgery.
Plastic surgery is a huge thing in Iran, and Iranian doctors are said to be very rich. In any case they’ll get you the best nose! Plastic surgery is not only socially accepted as much as socially encouraged, and there are also some men doing it. Lips, facelifts, nose jobs, and more are on a respectable Iranian surgeon’s menu.
Come to Iran, you’ll find the best noses!

Persian Cuisine

And finally, as my lunchtime approaches, I will leave you with one last fact about Iran. One that I immensely care for. I hope you’re not on a diet when you come to Iran. I hope you’re like me: I like to eat a lot! really a lot! I like it when they bring me a portion but it looks like two people need to eat it!
I already wrote an article about the philosophy underlying the Iranian cuisine, its diversity, uniqueness, and why you should try it. What I forgot to mention is that Iranian meals are huge <3 ! They look like three people need to eat them. So the last thing you should know is that people don’t travel here for dietary purposes. Don’t try to come and be on a diet. That’s it!

Experiencing Persian Cuisine is the best part of traveling to Iran!

Now I’m off to my portion(s).

Are you planning to travel to Iran? Check out our Iran tours.